Throughout this current series of articles I have written about some of the mechanics of the art of negotiating.
As a quick recap, to date we have covered:
• Myths about negotiating
• Characteristics of good negotiators
• The importance of structure
• Who’s got the power
• Games people play
While each of these is important, there is another area that is often overlooked.
That is the attitude of heart of the negotiator.
What do you mean, Paul? I hear you ask.
What I mean is, you need to examine your heart attitude as you approach the negotiation.
Stay with me … this is important.
You can know all of the things we have covered to date in this article series; however, if your heart attitude is not right you will not optimise your results.
Yes I know that for some of you this does not compute.
For you, negotiating is all about how you can get the best deal, and while you may give lip service to the concept of WINI WIN, in reality it’s all about you, your business and what you want.
“Hey wait a minute Paul - that’s not me,” I hear you protest.
Well let’s find out shall we.
Right now - take 10 minutes to do the following:
Step 1: Identify the last 6 deals you negotiated.
Step 2: Review each deal and ask yourself if you truly believe the outcome was a genuine WIN WIN for all parties.
Step 3: If they were, great! If they weren’t, what part of the deals would need to be different for them to be a genuine WIN WIN?
Step 4: What will you do differently in future deals with those parties?
The point here is to value the relationships and the people you are doing business with.
After all PEOPLE do business with PEOPLE on behalf of their companies.
Don’t become so blinded to what you believe are the economic imperatives that you forget to take account of the other party to the negotiation and what they want.
After all, you should be in business to DO BUSINESS.
This really is a matter of heart.
Unless you are a psychopath you cannot fake this. It will come through in your voice (words and tonality) and your body language.
Are you looking for a quick buck and to screw people into the ground? Or are you looking for sustainable long term relationships?
If you are really looking for sustainable relationships, then your actions will demonstrate this.
Make it a habit to listen to what people say and then watch the direction of their feet.
Are their words and actions congruent? Or incongruent?
Are your words and actions congruent? Or incongruent?
What are you going to do about it?
Now, this isn’t the full story. You see, for people of FAITH there is another dimension we can rely upon.
“What do you mean Paul?”
Well, talking straight, what I mean is that as a Christian, I see Jesus as the senior partner in my business(es).
I invite and look for his input into my planning, decision making; marketing; strategising and, in fact, all areas of business.
I believe this gives me a competitive advantage in the market place; after all I want to make sure that I do business with people of integrity.
I look to discern this. I look for the opportunity for God to give me insights into my client’s businesses and lives.
In terms of negotiations, God can his servants discernment, through the operation of the gifts of the Holy Spirit of what the real, perhaps unspoken wants, desires, motives, drivers of the other party are and how best to structure an acceptable WIN WIN. (Or to not do business with that party for such and such a reason.)
After all, as sons and daughters of God we are called to be leaders in our respective spheres of influence.
If you are Christian reading this – may it stir up the gift that is within you so that you may stand up and be counted, rather than being a spectator.
If you are reading this and don’t understand matters of faith or perhaps are atheistic or agnostic then you have a choice to make. You can continue down the path you are on or you can begin to consider that the God whom you don’t know or believe in is actually interested in you, your challenges, hassles, hurts, the pressures you are under in business.
You cannot sit on the fence. Not making a choice is choosing to not make a choice.
You may recall the classic Chris de Burgh song from the 1980s “Don’t Pay the Ferryman”
“Don't pay the ferryman,
Don't even fix a price,
Don't pay the ferryman,
Until he gets you to the other side;
Don't pay - the ferryman”
In terms of your soul and your eternal destination the negotiations have already been concluded.
The terms of the deal have already been cut on your behalf.
You can choose to be party to the deal that has been cut on your behalf (by Jesus) or you can choose to pay yourself (not recommended, yet it is your free will choice).
What will you choose?
How will you choose to pay?
Accept that Jesus paid the necessary price on your behalf. Pay yourself.
I encourage you to seriously consider your decision. It is the biggest DEAL of YOUR LIFE.
For some this may be confronting.
So be it.
After all, my clients value my input into their successful businesses because they know I don’t mince my words. I tell it like it is both in terms of business matters as well as matters of faith. | 
